Imperfect for Each Other

“You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about.”  Sean (played by Robin Williams) in Good Will Hunting 

I know lots of love stories.

Pastors get a front seat to weddings and we’ll all got stories about the bride who freaked out when the flowers didn’t match her nail polish or the groom who dropped the ring.

We get to observe congregational romances. I know a couple who met during the Ash Wednesday Service – which isn’t easy.   One  attractive person said to another attractive person, “That was so meaningful.  Would you like to get a cup of coffee and talk about Lent?”  Seriously.  That happened.

And just last week I overheard two people fall in love (or at least serious like) on a flight from Philadelphia to Chicago.  They were strangers who happened to take a window seat and a middle seat, side-by-side, and by the time we landed their relationship appeared to have taken flight.  The guy in the aisle seat pretended to be asleep through the whole thing for his own self-preservation.pretty-woman-stairs-scene

Part of being a grown up involves making life about someone besides ourselves. Any bride or groom who believes that the one and only love of their lives 1) exists and 2) exists to serve their every whim has watched too many Julia Roberts movies. True love involves sticking around after all the imperfections reveal themselves. True love is messy. It’s looks almost nothing like a Julia Roberts movie  – especially one starring Richard Gere.

The search for True Love makes today difficult for a lot of people.

The truth is that it’s an underrated miracle when two people fall in love with each other at approximately the same time and it’s a bigger miracle when they can stick it out after they start driving each other crazy.

I disagree with Sean in Good Will Hunting.  It’s not about being perfect for each other.  It’s about being imperfect together.

Sometimes it starts out well but it ends.  That’s okay because you took a risk and shared your life.  You were not perfect for each other and being imperfect with each other was harder than anybody realized it would be.

Nevertheless, Happy Valentine’s Day. This is a good day to make someone – anyone – feel loved in spite of their imperfections.  The God I believe in does that countless times every day.

Image of Richard Gere climbing up to Pretty Woman Julia Robert’s apartment. Beware. This kind of thing can mess with your mind. 

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