Mothers’ Day: Bracing Myself Once Again

mothersAs you read this, I’m on the road driving from Charlottesville, VA to Chicagoland after celebrating TBC’s 21st birthday.  I am a mother.

Nevertheless, Mothers’ Day has always been fraught with sadness because I miss my own mother very much.  Like every day.  This loss explains the whopping majority of my pathological issues.

I had a mom for 32 years.  I’ve been a mom for 25 years.  Therefore my let’s-celebrate-Mothers’-Day-as-a-daughter trumps my let’s-celebrate- Mother’s-Day-as-a-mother by seven years.  I semi-hate Mothers’ Day . . .

which brings me to a creative business idea:  cards for people who miss/dislike/avoid/pray-they-aren’t-like their mothers.

Several of my friends are motherless for the first time this Mothers’ Day and my insides ache for them.  It’s fairly miserable. And in the effort to find just the right “I-wish-I-could-help-soothe-your-sadness” Mothers’ Day card – even at those cute, anti-Hallmark card shops, I realized that such cards do not exist.  Or at least I haven’t found them yet.  The closest I came to victory is the image shown in this post.

So, motherless ones, would you like to help me come up with pithy card sentiments?

  • Thinking about you on Mother’s Day”  (too bland?)
  • Mother’s Day Sucks”  (too sharp?)
  • Let’s get together for Mother’s Day & eat key lime pie”  (like it)

Your thoughts?


This post is dedicated to those who’ve lost their moms since last Mothers’ Day.  Love to you.


7 responses to “Mothers’ Day: Bracing Myself Once Again

  1. thanks…how about “this sucks and let’s drink margaritas”

  2. Martha Brown

    Getting together to eat Key Lime Pie AND tell stories.

  3. Mothers’ Day was an almost sacred day in my family. My dad’s birthday was May 5, my birthday is May 13, and Mothers’ Day is almost always in between. We would always do something special after church that day…go to a ball game, go out to the country to some place my dad heard about but doesn’t quite know where it us, go to the movies and dinner, etc. Every year around this time, I feel their loss as acutely as if it happened recently (my dad’s been dead 20 years and my mom 18 – My dad died when I was 22 and my mom when I was 24).

    People in the congregation don’t understand why I don’t want to go to the Mothers’ Day Tea the Saturday before (I am not a mother, I don’t have my mother anymore, and it honestly kills me to see mothers and daughters and grandmothers together, or at least talking about their daughters or mothers or grandmothers in other cities)…”It’s not just for mothers and daughters,” they tell me (One year one of the old ladies said, “Well, you’ll be the only single, childless, motherless person there, but you should come anyway! You can be a server!” The other servers are men and boys). I avoid church on Mother’s Day (or if I do go, I go to one of the chapels on the college campus), because everything is focused on motherhood. That one day out of the year, I just want to be an anti-social wretch and wallow in my sorrow.

    I would love a “Mothers’ Day Sucks” card. Not only because I miss my mom, but also because that is the one day I allow myself to grieve the fact that I can’t have children of my own.

    Thanks for letting me vent for a minute.

  4. Just a thought, when I was serving my last church in the metro Atlanta area and we had cards for folks who had recently lost a mother and cards for those whose Mother’s Day is less then ideal. Not all Hallmarks carry them and there’s not a big selection but they are there. I to understand Mother’s Day being a mixed emotion day – my mother hasn’t died but she has choosen for the last 15 years to live her life as if I were dead. But I now have a 7 year old who I muster up a smile for because he’s proud of me as his mom.

  5. Thank you for this post, Jan. You expressed it well. Personally, I am trying to push through my personal motherhood multilayers and slowly finding the words to tell others of the plethora of emotions that are so on the surface for me at this time of year.. But the eating key lime pie is a lovely option.

  6. I want to buy that card line!

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