Talking About Hard Things

I strongly recommend that everybody – everybody – read Bruce Reyes-Chow’s new book But I Don’t See You As Asian: Curating Conversations About Race.  Picture hundreds of spiritual communities reading this as a One Book-One Church selection.  The conversations would shift our culture.

This book  - the result of a successful Kickstarter  project – is witty, sharp, insightful, and important.  Bruce discloses his and his family’s own experiences as a multiracial family, sharing those many cringe-worthy comments that Good Christian People invariably say.  He points out that all of us are guilty of downplaying our privileges and avoiding difficult conversations.  But there is something urgent about this book.

We need this.  Now.

I work in a city with these demographics according to 2010 census figures:

• 32% black (including Hispanics), 45% white (31% non Hispanic white + 14% white Hispanics), 5% Asian (including Hispanics), and 3% from two or more races(including Hispanics).
• The ethnic makeup of the population is 28% Hispanic (of any race) and 72% belong to non Hispanic background (of any race).
• In 2000, 21.7% of the population was foreign born; of this, 56.3% came from Latin America, 23.1% from Europe, 18.0% from Asia and 2.6% from other parts of the world.  Chicago has the fifth highest foreign-born population in the U.S.

And yet I cannot get enough Spanish-speaking leaders to serve our Spanish-speaking congregations.  We need new African American and African pastors to replace those who retire or move away.  We have a huge population of Assyrian refugees moving here from Iraq but not enough resources to serve them spiritually.

What is preventing us from creating new communities for our neighbors in Chicago – and in cities and towns across the U.S.?  What’s to keep us from supporting new generations of leaders who look more like the city demographics than we do?  Lots of things, but here are a few that come to mind immediately:

• Distrusting people of other races even/especially in church.  Even in our multicultural congregations without a majority race, there are unspoken tensions. What if our church become too white?  We must remain a Korean church!  These Africans will want to change the way we do things.  
• Insisting that we are all the same.  We are not all the same and that’s not only okay; it’s God’s creative will that we are all different.  It’s a spiritual practice to cross boundaries and love The Other which is something Jesus did this every day:  Samaritans, Unclean folks, Syro-Phoenicians, lepers, tax collectors, rich, poor, uneducated, elite.  We are called to connect with people who are not like us.
• Failing to acknowledge that white is the default race. For now.  Life is easier for us in ways we rarely appreciate.
• Congratulating ourselves for supporting poor (often minority) peoples, giving from our superior place to “them” and preferring charity at arm’s length over authentic relationships.

Imagine being able to share our misconceptions, fears, and questions about race with each other in safe conversations.  Imagine church being the community where we can learn that and talk about the fact that not all blacks play basketball and not all Asians are good at math.  Imagine being able to talk together about race through the lens of Jesus.

Read this book with me and let’s figure out how to get started.

About Last Night

After a late night Presbytery meeting last evening, here’s what I learned:

1. Don’t sit on the first pew in a sanctuary with a high pulpit.  (Sore neck this morning.)  
2. A diverse agenda makes for a good meeting.  (We examined five candidates for ordination, made a covenant with the Chicago Muslims, and released a congregation and their pastor to another denomination.)
3. It makes most of us happy when a congregation that disagrees fundamentally with the theology and polity of our denomination finds a home in a new denomination.  (Yes, some are angry.  Many are sad.  But most of us are happy for our brothers and sisters to find  a denominational home where they can thrive.)
4. It’s inspiring to hear our colleagues preach.  (Yes, it’s awesome to invite A Big Name to preach, but we have extraordinary preachers in our midst and I’d like to hear more of them.)

It was a good evening to be a Presbyterian follower of Jesus.

Image is the art deco pulpit in the Saint-Vaast Cathedral, Arras, France.

 

The Gospel According to Niall Ferguson?

You may have heard of Harvard history professor Niall Ferguson.  TCP and I heard him speak last night here and it was one of those delightful one of events that breaks me out of Church World.

According to Niall (which I was hoping was pronounced ‘Nile’ but alas is pronounced ‘Neel’):  A rich United States is good for the whole world.  But the U.S. is not as wealthy today because:

• We’ve breached the contract between generations. (“Those over 70 consume more than double what those under 20 consume via Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security.)
• Regulation in business – especially small business – has exploded.  (“Since 1993, over 81,000 new regulations have become law.”)
• The Rule of Law has shifted to The Rule of Lawyers.  (“The tort system needs only stupid judges and opportunistic litigants to thrive.“)
• Associational life has been diminished.  (See Bowling Alone.)

He lost me a bit when he praised Margaret Thatcher.  And I disagreed with him on some other things as well.  But – here’s where we move to Church World – some of Ferguson’s points inform the 21st Century Church:

• Does our budget reflect our desire to raise young followers of Jesus?  Examples: The sanctuary is freshly painted and clean, but the nursery and children’s classrooms are dingy and filled with broken furniture and toys.  There are no people under 40 in the congregation and there is no plan for reaching out to those who are not yet with us.

• Is everything over-regulated and institutionalized?  Examples:  We have to have a chili dinner every October.  Ms. B has to be the  Vacation Bible School Director every summer.  We always have old hymn sing-a-longs every Sunday in August.

• Have we become Pharisees in terms of how we run things?  Examples:  We nit pick over meaningless things in order to hinder more important work.  I once worked in an office that had a rule about bringing dogs to work.  But you could bring your cat.   And we talked about this policy for an hour. Really. 

• Are we about activities instead of relationships?  Examples:  we have calendars full of church activities but nobody really knows anyone else.  Conversation is cordial, but there are no deep relationships with each other.  Or with Jesus.

Professor Ferguson is not a theologian, but everything is spiritual.

Who Casts the Vision?

Notice how Jesus never said to his disciples:                                                                     ”So how should we do this whole “God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven‘ thing?“

As I meet with Pastor Nominating Committees, there is the conversation about when the vision should be cast (before the new pastor comes or after?) and who should cast it (the “Vision Team” that works before the new pastor arrives or the new pastor?) It’s got to be the pastor.  The new pastor needs a sense of the congregation before she/he begins, of course.

• Is it clear that the congregation has No Idea how to be a 21st Century Church?
• Is it – sadly – clear that they do not want to be a 21st Century Church?
• Or do the people really want to grow/change/follow the way of Jesus but they need a fearless leader to shepherd the way?

These scenarios make a HUGE difference in terms of how things will go with said new pastor. Surefire way to guarantee disaster:  Church leaders who have their own ideas about the church’s vision, especially when their vision focuses on:

• The congregation’s historic past.
• The church building.
• What a successful church looked like in the 1950s-1970s.
• Bullying other leaders.
• Character assassination of the pastor who challenges the elders’ own vision/power in the congregation.

I remember sitting through a challenging church meeting as the pastor shared his vision (sadly in a demanding & defensive way) and an elder who had worked as a “professional church consultant” shared her vision (saying that the pastor “worked for them” and served the vision of the lay leaders.)  It was ugly. The elder/’professional church consultant’ chalked up the conflict to denominational differences.  It was a union church comprised of several denominations.  But actually the conflict was about Who Casts the Vision? It’s got to be the pastor, whose eye is on:

• what Jesus taught
• what love looks like in God’s reign
• what breaks God’s heart in the neighborhood and world
• the context (i.e. where this church lives)

And then – the congregation works together toward this vision. And what if your pastor’s vision is self-serving/reckless/nuts?  Then maybe you need a new pastor.  Although keep in mind that Jesus’ disciples thought he was nuts from time to time.  Your pastor is not Jesus, but you can tell if you pastor is trying to follow Jesus.

Intentional Leadership Training

Where and how did you learn to be a leader?  

Seminaries teach Biblical exegesis, preaching skills, history, theology, and bedside manner.  But not many teach people how to lead.  This is the basic assessment of a few Presbytery leaders as we meet for a brief retreat.

Among the ponderings:

• There’s more to leading that telling people what to do.  Benjamin Zander would say it’s an art – and he’s right.  It involves “a new way of being” which can be taught, but must be embodied.  Truth:  many seminarians, much less ordained pastors are not keen on embodying a new way of being.  Honestly, we have a hard time convincing some seminarians to get spiritual direction or take Clinical Pastoral Education.
• Every pastor will have to do the following at some point in professional ministry:  hire people, coach people, fire people, re-direct rogues, finesse shifts, handle institutional crises.  Most of us learn how to do this on the job.  Many of us do it poorly and often the church suffers – perhaps to the point of no return.  Truth:  we might take continuing education as pastors, but it’s rarely about learning how to fire someone, mentor leaders, or manage a fiery crash.
• Every pastor needs a mentor.  Our retreat group loves the idea of matching each new pastor with a “90 Day Mentor” for the purposes of hanging out, sharing how things are going, answering essential questions like “What do those acronyms mean?”  ”Where’s the best place to get a sandwich?”  Just for the first 90 days.  If  it’s helpful, you can continue or find another mentor.  Truth:  Most pastors (I have been one of those pastors) want to jump in, not take any advice, refuse to talk with seasoned pastors for fear they are out-of-touch.  They are too busy for mentoring and they want people to believe they have arrived ready-to-go. No assembly required.
• Some of our pastors are such terrible leaders that we wish we could help remove them from professional ministry.  Yes, it’s true.  At least in in our denomination, we cannot remove a pastor unless he/she has engaged in serious misconduct of a sexual or financial nature.  Truth:  There is other misconduct that might require moving a pastor out of leadership like bullying, pastoral incompetence, divisiveness, making church about him/her.
• It’s not about us.  It’s not about perpetuating an institution.  It’s not about job security.  It’s not about creating a community with all our favorite people/toys/activities.  Truth:  Spiritual leadership is about expanding the Kingdom of God.  

Any suggestions on your favorite resources for training leaders?

Image Source.

Not All Angels Are White

A friend of mine from Cuba gave me a small figurine of a dark-skinned angel playing a pan flute.  ”Not all angels are white,” she reminded me.

Although 78% of the U.S. population is white according to the United States Census as of 2011, remember that as of 2012, non-white births outnumbered white births.  Even if you live in a predominantly white neighborhood somewhere in the United States, this is changing.  Not all neighbors will be white.

For my 50th birthday, HH gave me one of those DNA cheek swab kits that can tell you all about your mitochondrial heritage.  I was sure that I had some Middle Eastern blood in me considering how much I felt at home in that part of the world.  But the truth is that I couldn’t be whiter.  My people came from Northern Europe.  We are a pale people.

HH and I relished the fact that our children grew up in the DC area among kids from everywhere. They were minority students in their high school.  And yet “white” is the default skin color for most of us – Zadie Smith being a notable exception.

A couple of things I’ve learned recently:

• Many of my clergywomen of color friends have no illusions that they will ever serve a congregation that is comprised of brothers and sisters of their own race.  African American clergywomen friends have found that African American congregations do not want to interview them much less call them.  Same with some of my Asian American clergywomen friends.  They might be Korean and raised in predominantly Korean congregations, but those same Korean congregations will not hire them.
• Multicultural congregations long to call multicultural church staffs but we do not have enough pastors of color to fill those positions.
• All of us need multicultural sensitivity training.  We will still be racists, but at least we will be enlightened racists.
• 11 am on Sunday mornings is still the most segregated hour of the week, but it’s not quite as segregated as it used to be in many spiritual communities.

What’s going on in your congregation in terms of multicultural relationships?  What do you hope might happen in terms of connecting with people who don’t look like we look?

Image found on Pinterest.

Are Happy Churches Healthy Churches?

My brother loves his church.

He treasures his relationships – both with the pastors and with the other members.  He spends vacation time serving on mission trips – and not the kind which involve side trips to rain forests and beautiful beaches.  He gladly serves on a regular basis and he credits the church with teaching, inspiring, and supporting him.  He describes his community of faith as A Happy Church.

At the risk of sounding shallow, a happy church seems to be a healthy church.  Is that what you’ve found?

I occasionally spend time with unhappy churches.  Maybe they can’t be happy because of their own personal anxieties or their anxieties over church issues.  Churches in survival mode are rarely happy.  Their members don’t seem to love each other.  They might say they are “friendly” but then they fail to serve each other much less strangers.  

Church unhappiness might stem from poor relationships between pastors and members. It might result from disagreement over the church’s course of ministry.  Distrust breeds unhappiness.  Power struggles breed unhappiness.

So, of the healthy congregations you know, would you say they are “happy”?

 

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Anyone Want to Intern in the Presbytery Office?

“Internships are increasingly important today . . .  because skills are increasingly important in the new economy and because colleges increasingly don’t teach the ones employers are looking for.”  Thomas L. Friedman in the NY Times June 9, 2013

The same could be said about internships and seminaries.  Seminary internships – also called Field Education – can be immensely helpful in terms of fortifying one’s Pastoral Identity as well as teaching essential skills on the job.

I serve on a Middle Judicatory Staff as an Interim Associate Executive.  So, for starters, I’m just the interim and so it makes little sense for me to consider getting an intern.  But I’ve pondered what an internship in my office might look like.  A couple of initial questions:

• Would anyone even want to be an intern in the Presbytery Office?
• Could we come up with responsibilities that went beyond filing things?
• How would we deal with confidentiality issues?  (“Don’t mind the seminarian standing over there.  Just go ahead and tell me about how dysfunctional things are over there.)

But I imagine that there are skills that would be teachable out of the Presbytery Office:  Mediation.  Juggling.  Conversations about Common Church Crises and Transitions.

The future of Middle Judicatories and Mainline Church hierarchies in general is uncertain.  I see my role – as I saw it when serving as a parish pastor – as working myself out of a job.   Our work involves equipping others to do what we do.

And yet something tells me that there will always be more to do as people continue to long for community.  Maybe someone like me or someone like you could help with that.  Know anybody who wants to intern at the Presbytery?  Just wondering for the future.

Image Source.

 

The Blessings of A Good Presbytery

Note to those who don’t live in Church World:  In the Presbyterian Church, the Presbytery is a geographic region of congregations (e.g. all the Presbyterian congregations in a major city and surrounding burbs) as well as a corporate bishop.  Presbyteries do what a bishop does in other traditions.  

When I talk with people pondering calls in churches in the Chicago area, I share with them that We Are A Good Presbytery.  Honestly, it attracts good people.

Life is easier when we are surrounded by supportive systems, authentic colleagues, and friendly communities.  This is not to say that there are no conflicts or crises.  God knows there are.

But when I say that ours is a Good Presbytery I mean that:

• The ministry of women is not only assumed but appreciated in obvious ways.  
• The ministry of GBLTQ leaders is honored and even those with whom we disagree theologically, there is respect.
• We make difficult decisions thoughtfully and with plenty of research, prayer, and time.
• We have become increasingly permission-giving.  (Thank you Cindy Bolbach and nFOG.)
• Even though we lean progressive/liberal, other voices are heard.

There are obvious changes needed.  Nevertheless, there is so much good which results in expanding the reign of God.

Consider this my little Sabbath love letter today.  And I can’t say it enough times:  we have ten pastors under the age of 35 coming this summer.  Joy.

Mistakes Were Made (But It Was Okay)

“There’s fear that we are going to make a mistake in our ministry. That we are going to start the wrong program. That what we do will fail.”                              The Rev. Reggie Weaver preaching 6-2-13

Mistakes Were Made

This is a common scenario – especially in our smallest churches:

The congregation needs a new pastor and a Temporary Supply Pastor – maybe very part-time – is what they can afford.  Or they look for a FT Temporary Supply Pastor because the contract is for one year and they don’t know what they will need/want/have the capacity to pay a year from now.

The congregation is given from 3-6 Personal Information Forms/resumes to check out.  Among those, there are 1-2 who would be a good match for the church.

The search committee reads through them, listens to sermons, talks (and talks and talks) about the candidates.  And it takes at least 3 months for them to make a decision.  

In the meantime, those pastors are no longer available, the committee needs to start all over again, and the church is gasping for air and leadership.

Fearful churches are afraid to make decisions.  One false move – they believe – and everything will come crashing down.  So they don’t move.

For congregations on the cusp of closing, this is especially prevalent and ultimately deadly.  The very caution that slows down their decision-making is what kills them.

We are called to be bold.  Here’s what boldness looks like:

• Try something and give it time.  If we try a new form of worship and it’s decreed that “everybody hates it” after one week, we have sabotaged ourselves, and we teach our leaders that we like the idea of change, but we have no intention of taking it seriously.  It comforts the risk-averse to offer a limited try-out time:  ”We’re trying this for six months and then evaluating it.“
• Don’t blame people as in:  ”Because the Pastor moved Sunday worship to 10 am, people don’t come anymore.“
• Shift the culture from win-lose to tweak-improve.  Healthy churches are on the same team.  It’s not the “traditional worship people” versus the “fresh expressions worship people.”   We all want to make disciples, right?  How does our worship do that or not?
• Realize that Mistakes Are Our Friends.  If your church hasn’t made a mistake in the past year, you haven’t tried anything creative.
• Know that churches channeling The Bubble Boy are boring.  They also look nothing like the New Testament Church in which people are observed dropping dead during stewardship season and crashing in boats.

Everywhere – even in the bleakest urban neighborhoods, the most rural outposts, the most cookie-cutter suburbs – there are people who need what the church offers . . . if what we are offering is authentic community, spiritual healing, and transformation  - Jesus-style.

Image is The Death of Sapphira by Poussin (1652)