I know a church who gave their departing pastor $100,000 as a thank you gift.
I know a church who – when asked how they’d like to thank their pastor as she leaves – said (in her presence) “Do we have to?”
BBT – after being named one the top preachers in the English speaking world – was famously given a ceramic chicken when she left her first church. I honestly can’t remember what my first church gave me when I left them. But I’m sure it was lovely.
There are many schools of thought on this, and now that my job includes reminding communities to thank their pastor when he/she leaves, I’m pondering this quite often. Among the things I’ve been told both in my new job and long before:
– “Why should we give our pastor a parting gift? We’ve been paying her salary and benefits for ___ years. I don’t get a cash bonus when I change jobs.”
– “We’d like to give him a cash love gift when he retires. How about a week’s salary?”
– “My sister makes nice Bible scenes on pottery. We’ll be giving her a pitcher with a nice Bible scene and a cake.”
– “We’ve decided to name the fireplace in the fellowship hall after her.”
Yes, we all have funny stories about parting gifts for pastors. Actually some stories are quite disturbing. But what is the pastoral and theological thought behind these plans to bid farewell to a ministry that may or may not have meant something eternal to people?
A Church for Starving Artists 
Sigh…yep.
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It was a ceramic pumpkin, I think, that BBT received.
Nevertheless…
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Jan, I can’t get through a Christmas Eve service without thinking about a TV being wheeled down the center aisle. Makes it hard to stay hushed and reverent during Silent Night.
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You know, Jennifer, I think it WAS a pumpkin. But somebody somewhere got a chicken or a rooster. 🙂
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I’m conflicted over this.
On the one hand, you imply that thoughtful, personal gifts that sum up the lasting meaning that long compassionate service has brought to a congregation (in the opinion of the leaver) are not being delivered by those being left because of lack of intelligence or empathy . You seem to describe the ideal gift as cash, and lots of it.
On the other hand, you imply that all partings should be gifted. In the past few years I’ve seen pastors retire, find “better” jobs (and make no bones about it), be forced out because of one sort of misconduct or another, suddenly discover that they’re not a good fit for parish ministry, and move on to logical next-career-step positions. Certainly there is room for differences in a congregation’s response to different circumstances.
I strongly suspect that departing pastors receive the bounty they deserve.
And while we’re on the subject, why should the gift-giving be a one-way affair? If you believe that a departing pastor should be materially thanked for the gifts and talents brought to bear on the needs and problems of a congregation over the course of his / her tenure, why should the congregation not be thanked in the same way for offering opportunities for the pastor’s personal growth?
Just a thought . . .
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Dee – It wasn’t my intention to say that cash gifts are the best gifts by any means. In these times, all of us – of every calling – can use money, and yet money is not necessarily the most meaningful sign of appreciation.
Honestly, though, as one who was able to give music leaders and support staff cash bonuses occasionally, I know that it made them feel very much appreciated to receive that money. You could see it on their faces.
The point is more that our gifts must be thoughtful. A book of poetry might be the most thoughtful gift possible for one pastor but not so meaningful to another. Intention and relationship make the difference.
And as for thanking the congregation for helping the pastor grow, my hope is that this was mutual. But it’s a really important ritual and statement to thank a pastor who has served well.
I wonder if one issue – maybe tomorrow’s post? – is that many parishioners have no idea whether a pastor has served well or not because most people don’t know what the pastor does. A pastor who has given her/his life to serve a community of people appreciates being appreciated. That’s all I know.
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One of the best parting gifts I received upon leaving my last congregation: a grappling hook in a case with comments on the grappling we personally did together. Aesthetically beautiful and so meaningful.
It’s the first thing I put in my new study.
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My first church gave me one of the first digital cameras for my ministry and diamond earrings, acknowledging that they saw me as a young woman as well as their pastor. Very touching!
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